When you look at this picture I bet you see an old run down
cabin. Nothing special. It doesn’t look like a place you would want to spend
your summer vacations.
When I look at this picture I see family memories. I see my
cousins and I taking a break from swimming and boating to each lunch on the
deck.
I see family walks to the big Rock.
I see the boat breaking down in the middle of the lake, but being
ok with it because that meant I get to spend more time with my cool older
cousins.
I see an Island we get to swim to and explore.
I see my Grandma ringing the dinner bell at the house and my
mom telling me I have to get out of the water.
I see my Dad and Uncles setting off huge fireworks over the
lake on the 4th of July.
I see buckets full of fresh picked blackberries from the
main road, waiting to be made into homemade blackberry cobbler.
I see my cousins and I asking every adult we can find to
pull us behind the boat until we find someone willing.
I see a big bonfire with 9 small plastic chairs around it
for each of my cousins.
I see decks of cards waiting to be used for pinochle,
cribbage, and war.
I see my future, with our expanding family making new
memories.
This was my attempt at a poem, I tried a repeated line....I am not familiar with this genre, so I am open to all suggestions!
I think it is a great poem! I kept scrolling up to look at the picture with each sentence you had! I think this would be wonderful for a multigenre! You could sell the cabin, write a leter to a friend inviting them to the cabin, do a five senses poem, etc. There are so many different things you could do. I think you already have a personal narrative. It's great that you have done so much with your family at this one place and it holds all of these memories. I bet you could write a book and publish it and make copies for all of your family members (great Christmas gift)!
ReplyDeleteAmy -
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful! I love Samantha's idea of publishing it into a book for Christmas gifts. Do you have photos of these visits? You could scan and incorporate those and it would be even more amazing. I have absolutely no advice to offer - I can envision all of it...lovely!
Loretta
This is great! It takes me back to my grandparents place on Hood Canal, we lovingly call "the pink house". Four generations of family memories at that place. I really don't have any suggestions. I like what Samantha and Loretta suggested. Take it to the limit!
ReplyDeleteThe illustration really makes one think about how much a picture can make one think a thousand things. Keep the "I see" - I like it. Could for fun at the end say "what do you see?"
ReplyDeleteAmy your poem brings back memories of summer camping trips. That is what writing should do--take us to our own memories or stories.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to know just a little bit more about the big rock and the island. For these 2 stanzas you were brief and didn't share much. Try to add just a little more description. In other places you might want to add describing too. You did this with the blackberry buckets....try to do it around the fire also. Think about adding your feelings too.
In a couple of places your tenses are off too such as get/got. Write everything in past tense since this is a past memory.
Great first attempt at writing a poem!
Thanks Deanna, I appreciate the feedback!
ReplyDelete